Monday, February 21, 2005

The price of beauty

I read Saturday's papers about the funeral of Goh Lee Fang, the girl who got murdered last week in her own boutique which she ran at The Curve shopping centre. It is suspected that she was killed by an admirer. The father was quoted as saying:

"Several men were trying to court my daughter but I not know if she was in any serious relationships... There is no pride in being a good-looking woman nowadays. See what has happened to my daughter... It is better for daughters to be average-looking, then at least, the maniacs would leave them alone."

That quote haunted me all weekend. Is my socially acceptable appearance one of the reasons why my own parents are so proctective over me? Is physical attractiveness more of a burden than a blessing? How much does it affect the chances of a woman getting raped or murdered? Because in some instances, a girl's looks does play a small role; in others, it can be something as simple as stepping into the wrong taxi.

In the past year, I've been getting comfortable with my newly-formed 'office hips' and in turn my fashion sense has slightly, as they say, 'matured'. But pride of my own body often gives the wrong impression. Now I've been getting into more trouble, with more men -including friends!- trying to use me for cheap thrills from left, right and centre. Sometimes, I don't even know if I'm to blame.

One of my best friends is quite heavy-boned and although she's one helluva tough cookie and I look up to her as an ideal example of a beautiful woman, she has confessed to me that she blames her entire life of singlehood on her body size and it does get her depressed. I get females who use my frame as a reference for their weight-loss progress. I get males ogling at my non-existent derriere and re-labelling it 'tight'. It's wierd and as much as I want to feel flattered, I get scared of saying 'Thank you' because I never know when I'll be taken advantage of, who will be the next to pounce...

Something more sought-after doesn't equal fewer problems. Society has given EVERY body shape and EVERY face its own set of pros and cons. Everybody lives life as a double-edged sword. If only more people these days would realize how blessed they are. And at the end of the day, noone is safe from maniacs.

My prayers go out to Lee Fang and Chinese student Li Mingqian. Their murders were sick and unjust.


Blogger Eduardo said...

As a father I can safely assure you that your parents are over protective of you because of two things:

1) You are their daughter and they love you.

2) They have lived a little longer in the world and have experienced their fair share of nutjobs who share the world with us all.

But I don't say that to discount your beauty, which is probably considerable since you seem to be modestly aware of it yourself.

1:26 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

Hi Eduardo, thanks for your heartfelt comments. it's strange that advice seems the most valuable when it comes from people you'd least expect. your kid/s have a great dad. :)

12:30 PM  
Blogger mob1900 said...

Intelligence and wisdom will save you and ward you off evil men. afterall, you can't fuck a brain. pardon my language for making a point. ;P

3:58 PM  

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