Jalur Gem-'hilang'

Independence Day fever is catching on slowly this year, but the blogosphere is thriving in spirit. A bunch of Malaysian bloggers are planning to blog in our national language tomorrow, and I'm feeling properly retarded. I tend to use Manglish a lot in a foolish attempt to mask the fact that I can't speak or read or write Bahasa Malaysia for jack. To prove what a 'teruk' case I am, kindly allow me to demonstrate:

Ibubapa saya dari Melaka dan Muar... sebab tu, saya berasa sedih. Kenapa? Kerana saya cakap Melayu macam pelancong. Malunya.

"Translation":
My parents are from Malacca and Muar... because of that, I'm feeling sad. Why? Because I speak Malay like a tourist. The shame.

Now do you believe that my 'B' grade in O'Levels stood for 'Blatant fluke'?

I thought this was the closest my blog was gonna get to displaying patriotism, but then I had an idea...

Why don't I learn the national anthem?

*Gasp*

*HORROR*

*Dear child, tell me it isn't so...*

Sorry mate, you did read that right. For the past 13 years of living in Kuala Lumpur, I have only been mouthing along. When I feel brave enough, I try and utter English-equivalent syllables. Advance Australia Fair is relatively more complicated in musical and lyrical structure, but I can still sing it as well as any sheila. Curse that Third Culture Kid syndrome.

To say that it's about time I master the words to Negaraku would be the understatement of the year.

SO! Tuan-tuan dan Puan-puan, in a tribute to the hazy, lazy, crazy country which has taught me how to withstand humidity, devour durians and appreciate the art of freeloading, here is my rendition of the tune that has placed me one notch closer to being a proud Malaysian.



(Watch in the following sequence to effectively observe slow & painful loss of hope)

Take One - Fabulous start

Take Two - The problem of sharing a room

Take Three - Almost!

Take Four - Funny how 'darahku' sounds a lot like 'negaraku'

Take Five - Did I get it right? (Wait - don't answer that.)

Happy Merdeka Day y'all - wave that Jalur Gemilang high!