Morning spritz
I take the car out this morning to get to the LRT train station, with my mom scuttling out of the house soon after to accompany me.
My nose tickles as I reverse out, and I lower my head to let out a forceful sneeze. I open my eyes and see a bit of transclucent goop clinging on to the front of my blouse. With no tissue around in the car, I grimace as I smash the phlegm between my fingers until it dissolves. I'm appalled at my grossness but no doubt relieved that I catch sight of it before getting to the office.
Mom gets into the car and we shoot off, listening to The Black-Eyed Peas chanting "No-No-No-No" to something or other. I get to the usual drop-off point and share a few more words with my mom before stepping out. Mom leans over, ready to take over the driver's seat, and her eyes freeze at my lower face. She lifts a forefinger and takes a scrape at my upper lip.
"What is that? You didn't wash your face properly. Looks like porridge..."
"Uh, Ma... I don't think you should have done that."
"Huh... Why?"
I gravely tell her the reason and simultaneously bolt out of the car as she breaks into violent convulsions reinforced with the choicest string of vocabulary.
"EEEEFUCKBASTARDSHITBASTARDARGHDAVINAAAAARRGGHH!!!"
I can't help but look back at the deranged woman and chuckle as I cross the street.
posted by disco-very @ 4:26 PM
9 Comments:
I wipe my boogy on my sleeves.. muahahah
OMFGEWWW.. i was about to propose!~ *backtracks*
:P
ehw.. gross..
*sniff* *dig~dig*.. :p
eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....
LOL...Had to admit I was grossed out by the smashing between the fingers bit.. although WE ALL HAVE DONE IT one time or another...
But the ending was classic... LOL
cyber-red,
yeah sleeves are da shiznit, but i've realised fingers are more fun.
mob1900,
i was wearing collarless!
seth-frostheart,
if you're already put off by this post, i strongly recommend that permanently reconsider that proposal.
jack0,
where's the *lick*?
sub,
and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
amakanchi,
yeah, she's a sweetheart. :)
prianna,
yeah, it's the same denial that is associated with toenail biters and saliva bubble-makers. it's cool to hear mothers swear like that.
0.o
what the..
lick??? hahahaha
go on.. show me the full iceberg.. :P
Boo-(ger)-boo-boo!
Now that is one bodily fluid I wouldn't want to exchange. :P
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