Monday, October 03, 2005

Discovery

I never expected to bring up family affairs in my blog. I feel there's more to life than just ranting about how much the world is against you. But, if I can correctly recall the hackneyed saying, Sh*t Happens.

My family has found out about my blog.

I don't know how it happened. I have only made references to my name here on extremely rare occasions.

Not that I have anything to hide; besides, blood relationships are encouraged to be of optimum transparency. But there are some things which I’d very much prefer my family to not know about, simply because I want to lessen the excessive concern they show for my welfare. They don’t trust my choices in life: from my friends to my investments, from my career to my eating habits. The differences in views are overwhelming, and attempts to express my views only strengthens their bone of contention. Blogging is my oxygen in a suffocating environment. This is my soapbox, where people are never indebted to listen but are always welcome to stick around and chip in their two cents’ worth if they fancy.

And now my sanctuary has been violated.

I have three choices: to censor myself, move my blog, or be an obstinate boob and stand my ground. Since censorship defeats the entire purpose of blogging and I’m too lazy to create a new domain, it seems apparent that I have come to my decision.

I, however, would like to lay down the conditions to any family member who does feel an itch to come by and invade my space once more.

1) May this blog help you to understand me better as a person. I trust that you will NOT use this blog as an excuse to enhance your self-righteousness and your belief that I have issues.

2) I do not wish for the contents of my blog to serve as gossip fodder in the house or anywhere else for that matter. To allow you to read my blog is already considered an extremely noble decision on my part. The least you can do is respect my intentions.

3) Do keep in mind that I do not need a fake reassurance that my life is pathetic, weird and/or hunky-dory. It would be great if you could also leave your own placebos at the door, and visit this space with a tolerant mind and open heart.


If you didn't comprehend the repetitive lines above, here is the undissected version: Please let this be. I would infinitely appreciate your cooperation.

In particular, there has been a constant struggle to refrain from indulging in tirades about my elder sister. I never wanted to mention how spiteful, heartless, insolent and ultimately immature she can get. Ironically, she has saved me the trouble. She is 'guess who stupid' who left the catty comment in the previous entry.

Good grief, Melanie. Do both of us a favor and get a life.

19 Comments:

Blogger Wuching said...

my family is the reason i started my blog

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Maria said...

I have to say that you have a very good blog here. Honesty are highly valued, not to worry.

=]

12:32 PM  
Anonymous freakshow said...

I totally understand your concern on your family intrusion, mine too, you know what Disco-very? it woke me up on what i have been going through, that is i created an imaginary life that i wished i had on my blogg( I since stop mine)...maybe your family don't understand your"True Life", not that one you have been showing them at home, the one you think you are living..to me i had a good read on your blogg, that's fine and your stories are amazing, almost the one i wanted to live too..then again i wonder, am i true to myself or i just wanted to be different..keep writting your stories, maybe writers like me can get a tip or two on how your generation think and fantasies. My point is, you have to be REAL at home first...contribute to them as you much as you contribute to your blogg..you know what? if you have trouble(s) , your friends will run first no matter what or how small your problem is,and no matter how "tight" your friendships are. but your family can't. most of the time they(your family ) whether they like it or not..will die for you!! Us bloggers will and can only read your misery, not more..whether they are not treating you or respecting your choice and preferences in life now, cos they(family) didnt bring you up the way they read on your blogg..please consider this ok, think again Disco-very..i can assure you, if you choose the non conventional way of life, then perpare to get slashback as your family did to you,not saying you can't or you can what (who ) you are. i am very sure your dad has spent enormous amount of comfort and wealth to keep you under the roof,educate,pocket money,all the clothes,transport ,holidays..bla..bla..bla and misc..please respect them in order to get respect back..when you are on your own, you can be who and what you are, if you are still staying with your parents then too bad, follow their rules..that's the rule of the house you should have in mind...

6:33 PM  
Anonymous midnite lily said...

I had a feeling it was ur sis. that's such an immature comment. my bro & i both have blogs, but even tho we say things abt each other that might hurt, we realise that - just like for you - our blogs are the outlets of freedom we crave.

don't worry abt it. since u've made ur stand & decision, u ve ppl who'll give u support here ^_^ *HUGS*

btw, i might ve another tv show i want u to host ^_~

7:06 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

wuching,
that's interesting thought. i'm not sure if it happened in a positive of negative way, but i'm sure it was for the best.

maria,
your support is also highly valued, thanks for checking my place out.

freakshow,
i'm truly grateful for the concern you've expressed in your comment. you are most definitely right in many aspects, how family is most crucial. but rest assured, if you read my entry again, i am not living a 'second life', i'm not depending on bloggers or friends to be my saviors, neither is there any hint of resentment towards my folks. i LOVE my family to bits. both sides are living the way they want to live, but one side doesn't accept the other because there is a fear of understanding new ideas. detachment is the only way to keep the conflicts to a minimum. i did not wish it to happen that way, but i have a life to live too, and if i carry on believing that their happiness precedes mine, then i'll be one heckuva depressed kid. anyone else in my shoes might have resorted to alcohol, ciggies, drugs or casual sex... all i did was start a blog. i don't expect gratitude, only respect for my personal space. thanks again for reading freskshow.

midnite lily,
Thank you for sharing. you always have something simple yet profound to say. *hugs* looking forward to hearing about the new opportunity :)

10:14 AM  
Blogger Oreos said...

it's the day anonymous bloggers dread. let's hope those who stumble upon your blog recognise your right to freedom of thought :)

10:45 AM  
Blogger oh-jon said...

I also started my blog with my family in mind.

Writing for a mixed audience of friends, family and colleagues is much more challenging, and yes, sometimes you have to practice self-censorship. I've definitely had to be more careful than I'd like, but perhaps that's a good practice in any case.

Of course, having a hostile sibling may change the dynamic altogether.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Colin said...

If I were a parent, this blog would allay any fears; loss of privacy though is another matter although I can't see how you could be thought lesser for it.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Albert said...

Uh I feel guilty for linking your with name sometimes. Eeep.

Yeah, blog keeping in mind that everybody can read it. I pretend I don't know about my sister's blog and who her boyfriend is, and she pretends she never saw my link on our common friend's blog. I think my dad knows about my high sugar levels and he tells me not to drink so much. (I don't!)

If you've got secrets, go sign up at Livejournal or something. When I am frustrated at somebody and must vent it out publicly, I'd either go balls-out or cowardly write a cryptic entry. Besides, cryptic entries make you look gothic and artsy, a (sometimes) welcome change of pace. Or you'd see it in my MSN nickname.

You're different, and you've stood up for what you do, so uh... don't stop doing it. If you weren't different, you'd be a boring blogger, and maybe, a boring person as well.

1:35 PM  
Blogger commonjack said...

ooh. i totally relate to this entry.

even i attempt to maintain a degree of anonymity in my blog. but i know its just an illusion. anybody who knows me well enough will be able to tell that its me if they stumbled upon my blog.

my blog is a little more depressing, because i use it as an outlet to just be depressed so that i'm not depressed in life. :) i hate it when friends or anybody i know find out about my blog, read it and then try to counsel me later.

if i needed counsel, i'd ask for it. :D

my good friends all understand this.

you know what i do if people ask about my blog? i just ignore it. or i tell them if they reaLLY need to say something about my blog, then post a comment and i'll reply if i feel like it.

so keep being 'real' lah. (i guess i don't need to tell you that...) i've always loved your blog.

cheers.

3:05 PM  
Blogger HeR$hèYs said...

everything happened for a reason...a good reason.
just dun worry...or else another pimple might pop out from ur face :P
ur family will get to know u better.

10:01 AM  
Blogger Inn said...

u're staying. me very glad :)

3:27 PM  
Blogger mob1900 said...

Ahhh.. siblings. guess your sis made her presence felt. Meoooow!

5:38 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

oreos,
i'm one of those daft ones who'd think that it would never happen to me. oh well. thanks for the comment!

oh-jon,
i know what you mean. i've been censoring myself mildly as a 'just in case' measure, and i could have posted stuff which could have gotten me into much bigger trouble than what is possible now, so now i'm pretty thankful. anything can happen - it is the internet after all.

colin,
it is liberating to a partial degree, to know that my parents now have access to what i really feel about certain things and to prove to them that i'm not as naive as they see me to be. it's a double edged sword i suppose.

albert,
for a while i've been considering starting another blog specially reserved for cryptic messages, but maintaining one is already quite tricky :P thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.

dilettante,
i completely agree with your comment. whatever issues are brought up in a blog should stay online. changing the medium just makes the situation awkward. keep blogging yourself ok? you're doing great.

HeR$hèYs,
what happened has happened, but whether my family would be willing to open up to my life is a totally different story. thank you for the positivity.

inn,
me very happy too. :P

mob1900,
you can say that again... doubt my claws will be retracting anytime soon!

6:54 PM  
Blogger Amakanchi said...

I can only guess how bad it must feel to have your whole family to read your deepest inner self. Don't know what else to say. There are just secrets you don't wanna share with your closest ones. But in the end to read your blog they should be proud of you!

6:17 AM  
Anonymous ah pink said...

Similar thing happened to me and I chose the easy way out; I shut my old blog down. Menyesal punya menyesal I tell ya. I still get fan mails today altho it's been 6 months.

Anyway, jes wanna tell you I am glad you are staying on. Friends ka, family ka, spouse ka, they should all respect your privacy and not take things so personally. After all, it's your pov and it's a free country wat.

3:22 PM  
Blogger cyber-red said...

if u were to go anonymous.. don't forget moi!!

7:32 PM  
Blogger cheesemeister said...

If my family discovered my blog, they would see it as reason to have me committed! I'd be told that I need to keep my nutty thoughts to myself. But where's the fun in that?
Of course families do put the fun in dysfunctional...
Dang--I feel for ya! I'm glad you're stubborn and will stand your ground. Ahhh! The drama! Good luck!
Peace,
Cheesy

7:54 PM  
Blogger Soo Jin said...

thank god mine doesn't read....
nor have much in the internet

10:35 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home