Metamorphosis

Strong words were exchanged: intimidating threats, heartwrenching confessions, monumental epiphanies. It was enthralling to witness. Then the thought gouged me in the eye: This is gonna be big... And I am sooooo not ready for it.

This week marked the start of rehearsals for my first commercial film. It's a project that has been in the works for years, and to see it blooming is a most satisfying rush. The cast reading through the final script together for the first time felt like magic. The new crew were creating their master plan in another room, their rowdy discussion reeking of novelties and algorithms.

Last night before the rehearsal, while the crew members and I were tucking into gastronomic sins at the mamak, Arivind the director called for my attention from the opposite side of the table.

"You know, you're going to have to start kissing tonight."

"HUH?!?!?!?!?"

"Yes, tonight! Because I can honestly tell you now, if you don't practice for it, it's going to look like crap on camera..."

I stared down at my meal; my garlic naan drooped over the plate in disillusionment.

I had entered the audition room as a naïve freshie adult, ready to take on the world, with high hopes, huge dreams, one hand in her pocket and the other giving the peace sign. One and a half years down the line, I am a frail old geezer, conscious about her looks, pessimistic about her achievements, suspicious of her credibility and wondering how the heck she's gonna tap, from the deep recesses of her soul, that sprightly evergreen sucker for love.

But have to admit, I can't say I'm not a *tad* excited.