Friday, November 25, 2005

Much-is-mo'

I unscrewed the lid off my tub of protein powder and took a peep inside before taking a scoop. Half empty - already?! But I just bought it last month!

I walked into the grimy haze where mom was preparing wantans for dinner.

"Mom, I think Malcolm has been drinking my protein shake..."

She frowned and rose her voice above the crackling oil.

"Are you sure it would be him? He hasn't been spending much time in the house at all..."

I thought back and indeed, I was not able to recall the last time I saw my brother lazing around at home.

"Then why is my tub finishing so quickly? I don't even drink it that often!"

She paused.

"Which tub have you been taking from?"

"My own! This one..."

I knocked the large white container next to the rice cooker.

Mom left the wantans frying and stepped into the kitchen.

"That belongs to your father! He moved your own tub over here!" She pointed to a ledge flanking the entrance of the kitchen. "His is vanilla flavor, yours is banana! As IF you can't tell the difference... "

"Well... well... I can't tell! The flavors are so fake and they all taste the same!"

"...You crazy woman."

I shuffled over to the living room where my dad was watching his Chinese soap opera.

"Uhm, Dad, I've been drinking your protein shake by accident..."

"You WHA-? And I here I was wondering why it was finishing so fast! I drink that for my weight-lifting and you don't even exercise! And it's double the price of yours! You don't even need so much protein! What a waste..."

I apologized and slunk away. But hey... Double the price? Don't need so much protein? I ran over to my tub and read out the chunky font on the label:

23 GRAMS OF PROTEIN PER SERVING

I bent over to my father's tub and read out the chunky font on the label:

55 GRAMS OF PROTEIN PER SERVING

I leapt upstairs into my room, pinched my sides in front of the mirror and suddenly felt a surge of undistilled power course through my veins.

So this is what muscle feels like.

7 Comments:

Blogger cyber-red said...

cis you can beat me in arm-wrestling shit lol...

7:59 PM  
Blogger Amakanchi said...

Oh you also don't see your brother that often?! My brother is so barely visiting us that I start to even forget how he looks like :(.

4:36 AM  
Blogger commonjack said...

wah...got muscles (pronounced must-kels) now ar? cool... lol.

9:48 PM  
Anonymous damion // sub said...

mmmm.... girls wif muscles....
a lil bit would be nice :D
better than pepsi can waists anyday..

1:34 AM  
Blogger disco-very said...

cyber-red,
haven't arm-wrestled with anyone in ages! if you're up for it we'll give it a shot when we meet up, just for kicks.

amakanchi,
my brother has a new girlfriend, which explains everything :) hope you get to see your brother soon.

dilettante,
ya man i'm like she-hulk now. don't mess wei.

damion // sub,
i have a pepsi can waist, and i think it's dead sexy. it's all soft muscle baby. don't mess wei.

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Jon said...

Hahah, what a faux pas! You're lucky that your dad is uh.. related to you, or you might've been in a lot more trouble.

I've received thrashings for pinching protein from bodybuilding friends.

9:00 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

jon,
serious? whoa. i would figure that if the protein tubs are big enough, pinching can go undetected unless you're caught red-handed or confess. :P my dad was initially fuming, but he cooled down fairly soon after.

6:28 PM  

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