Friday, November 11, 2005

Blood-erfly

Hey there kids! Let's do something fun!

Today we're gonna try a conventional artform using a slightly unconventional medium, particularly in favor of those who can't afford paint.

Just to let you know, as much as I'm a notorious animal lover and all, I personally do not support the existence of purely parasitical creatures. And as you shall soon see, ticks are fairly high up on the list.

All you need for this activity is

1) A pair of hands

2) Some old newspaper

3) A wide-heeled shoe

3) A dog infested with ticks. In this case, I will use my ever-obliging, 14-year-old spitz-mix, Crystal. Smile for the camera, girl!



First we gotta get the ticks out. Gently pull the fur back in the opposite direction of its growth to assist you in finding them. Hot spots include the ears, armpits and between the paws. Sometimes if you're lucky, you can find ticks in clusters, like a bunch of grapes. They look really cute.

There are two types of dog ticks:
- The teeny weeny flat dark red ones that look like spiders and crawl pretty fast
- The Mother-o-Mary fat juicy gray ones that move, if they REALLY have to, at an extremely contented pace

Aim for the latter. Pull them out delicately. Don't yank them out, the dog's skin might bleed more. And the ticks might burst between your fingers. (Which is fun, but we gotta save them for later.)

Get yourself a good bundle, maybe about 30 or so if you can.


Spread out the newspaper, and make sure there are a lot of layers underneath... Things could get messy!

Pour the ticks out right next to the centre fold...


...And pile them up according to the desired shape of your blood-erfly.


Fold the paper over neatly. Make sure there's ample paper space surrounding the ticks.


Now this is my dad's favorite part.

Take the flat-heeled shoe and flatten the little cretins to smithereens. A more effective option is to wear the shoe and stomp on the concentrated area. (Do not be alarmed by the shallow popping noises, they're meant to do that.)


Open up your paper, and ta-da!


An instant masterpiece for you to frame up in your living room!

When friends come by and comment on your artistic flair, flash your megawatt smile and reply, "What can I say? It's in the blood."

Give yourself a pat on the back, you genius you.

32 Comments:

Blogger cyber-red said...

i saw the doggie.. looking so scary
the ticks came out..looking yummy
then she killed them with victory

my gawd woman you ARE GROSSSSSS

5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn! why didn't i think of that?! i used to pick them out for my dogs. instead of killing them at one shot, i just squish them one by one.

oh man. we need help.

- LC -

12:16 AM  
Anonymous evan said...

*PUKES*

TELL me people, are those really ticks. omg. i never seen ticks before. so i wouldnt know.

DAV!!! EEKS

1:48 AM  
Blogger Albert said...

Uh, my mom says you gotta BURN them, coz the eggs stay there despite the smashing good time you had. :D

2:18 AM  
Blogger KM said...

That was pretty dang disgusting, and I come from heavy tick country back in the US. IIICCCCCCKKKKY!

9:24 AM  
Blogger sel said...

OMFG!

the small brown ones are the babies, they're really fast! and cute!

heres a good pic of a grape-like-tick- cluster,

http://www.insecta.ufv.br/Entomologia/ent/disciplina/ban%20160/Importancia%20medica/brown_dog_tick_picture.jpg

*rushes off to vomit*

some vets recommend garlic, it SEEMS to help, but personally, I believe its seasonal. DIdn't know that Tick Season is a nation wide thing. !

Plus, its just so satisfying to squish. y'know, if you didn't cover the top with newspaper, you'd get lovely streaks splaying out from the middle!

9:40 PM  
Blogger sel said...

crap. wrong link.

http://www.west-ext.com/pests/brown_dog_tick_picture.jpg

:P

9:42 PM  
Blogger mob1900 said...

Bloody Fine Masterpiece!

10:24 PM  
Blogger cheesemeister said...

Ack!
Rocky Mountain ticks are notoriously hard to kill. My father smashed one with a brick once and it didn't die. So, feeling a bit sadistic, he baked it in a 500 degree oven for 5 minutes. When brought out, it crumbled to ash.
I hate ticks, so I thought this was pretty cool!

1:37 AM  
Anonymous sub said...

:O

that bad huh?

4:46 AM  
Anonymous Jay said...

WOOA! Crushed them with a shoe! I always thought burning them was the way ta go!

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

The dog looks fiece and you are grosss weeiii...

1:23 PM  
Anonymous ming said...

Great job and keep it up! Take a viddy and post it up next time you get into a tick fest again. Lol ;)

When my doggie was alive, I used to squish them ticks individually. I remember that those fat ticks pack a whole lot of blood. I didn't like squishing the small ones tho - they are too nimble, small and (heh) there's not much of a popping sound.

When massive infestations strike, the thought of holding a handful of ticks just drove me to the vets for a doggie jab. Kept me lovely dog off the itch for months and blood off my hands.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Lao Chen said...

lol... the first time i popped a tick i was quite grossed out. Saw a fat swollen bastard, plucked it out, and piled on it with the flat end of a smallish wooden beam.

pop!

blood squirted all over the floor. Wah lau.

9:42 PM  
Blogger lishun said...

i used to do the exact same thing when my dog had ticks! the EXACT same thing! right down to the admiration for the blood-erfly pattern! haha.

11:45 PM  
Blogger eyeris said...

UWEK! BUEK!

*looks some more*

BUEK! UWEK!

Best!

11:56 AM  
Blogger Zed said...

how something so gross can be so beautiful and readable i will never know! good one.

2:14 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

cyber-red,
ticks are indeed yummy, especially when you use them to replace blood capsules during the trick-or-treating season.

LC,
one by one? aw. fun, but half the adrenaline that comes with genocide.

evan,
now you know. i could give you a live demonstration one of these days if you like.

albert,
really? man. thanks for the tip. my brother used to burn them with a magnifying glass under the sun. they sure smelt funny.

km,
take me to your country, i'm looking for extra income. :P

sel,
that's a glorious picture you've linked to. thanks for sharing. my cousin fed her dog garlic and despite the stench, apparently it paid off big time.
and i LOVE making streaks. sometimes i don't cover the tick with enough paper and i get sprayed a little too. hehe.

mob1900,
naturally. ;)

cheesemeister,
a brick? haha. yeah, the rocky mountain types are annoyingly hardy. i've learnt a fast method to kill them though - just pull them apart by the legs.

sub,
oh, you have no idea.

jay,
burning is great too, but i don't have the patience. :P

jason,
my dog gets grumpy now and then but she's cool. i love being gross, it brings me closer to nature.

ming,
i didn't know there was a jab for infestations! thanks for the info. i was considering using video but my dad was around at the time, he would have given up hope on me as a father if he ever saw me recording an act as morbid as that.

tan yee wei,
it's an awesome feeling, no? :P

lishun,
wicked! we should collaborate on an art exhibition one day.

eyeris,
gila bestnya.

zed,
it's all about presentation. ;) thanks dude.

10:33 AM  
Blogger burn666 said...

What the... o_O

At any rate i wish i had a dog or a pet of some kind cuz it seems like i'm missing out on some great experiences - such a deprived childhood! :p

(although i do have little brother, does that count?)

12:16 PM  
Blogger sel said...

PUKES! The blood that spurts out is so thick.


Anyways, yes, there is a jab for it. THAT works like crazy!

poor Paul, Pat. :P

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

eww
--------
do it again!

12:39 PM  
Blogger Amakanchi said...

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW..bah..I hate sqeezed insects. Hope for those poor things that they didn't suffer long. I could never do that..but I used to catch flies and put them into the deep freezer..but I did not kill them ..I gave them back their freedom somewhere far far away from home. Not to say that I couldn't be a mass murderer eighter...when those insects annoy me to badly.

7:35 AM  
Anonymous Prianna said...

*looks at the pile of vomit next to her*

Annnndddd... there goes my dinner. Thanks D.

9:11 AM  
Blogger earl-ku said...

what the fuck! ... i never knew dogs tick was that fucking gross

so you just go all over your dog and start scraping them off?

no medication for the dog afterwards?

11:24 AM  
Blogger Joy / Quilana said...

DAAAAAAVeeeeeNUH

Your dog is so precious. Mmmm... blooderflies... <3

6:44 PM  
Blogger seth.frostheart said...

woot!!! homemade rorschach ink blots, for the budding psychologist in you!! lol!!

ergh, do they get that big? i tot they were peas! O.o

3:46 PM  
Blogger Kaki Cucuk Langit said...

i think i just lost my selera for dinner and supper later.

BUUWEEEEKKKK........

3:34 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

burn666,
don't worry, second best is just as good. kidding! i bet he's a sweetheart.

sel,
yeah, the blood is thick and gooey... i if it tastes like syrup.

anonymous,
gladly, just give me time to cultivate another colony. :P

amakanchi,
i respect your respect for insects. i do too, but parasites are the only creatures i would gladly exterminate. i suppose it comes with the love of your pets and preventing them from suffering too much. i've been curious as to how you managed to get a fly in your freezer. there must be an art to it. PS have you seen fish lice? grotesque!!!!

prianna,
...sorry... or you're welcome. not sure which fits so you can pick one. hyuk hyuk.

earl-ku,
yeh they're pretty gross but you get used to it. no need for post-medication. my dogs know when i do tick-searches on them... they even try to eat whatever i pick out. but that's another story.

j,
mmmmmyes.

seth.frostheart,
come to think of it, they are just about the size of peas. and yeah, if it has any underlying meaning to it, sometimes i can make out the face of Barney.

Kaki Cucuk Langit,
refer to response to Prianna. :P

6:09 PM  
Blogger Barnze said...

I wonder if the ticks are edible?

8:56 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

barnze,
my dogs can attest to that.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Amakanchi said...

Uh I didn't know that fish can get lice too!! But they look actually quite funny and cute (at least in this picture ---> http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/arthropoda/crustacea/images/branchiura2.jpg).
I used to catch the flies by hand...of course it took a long time..but it was for fun;).

4:51 AM  
Blogger disco-very said...

amakanchi,
ew! ew! that picture brings back such horrid memories of my ex-bf's goldfish being covered in those things... he ended up having to remove them with tweezers.. .the fish were traumatized, to say the least.

12:43 PM  

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