Friday, December 01, 2006

'Tis the season to be Gee Golly

The thing about being a December kid is that you get so used to saying: "I'm (insert technical age + 1) this year", that the eleven-month conditioning progress prior to the day grants you the license to not give a hoot by the time it eventually raps on your front door.

So yes, I do have an excuse for always feeling older than I factually am.

The confession I made this time last year has really helped in getting the disorder out of my system. As I was preparing for my role in S'kali, contact with my face was kept minimal and from then on, I just upkept it. I still get attacks once in a while, but they're a lot more controlled and my awareness of falling into them has increased. And in between, I've managed to check out what my face can really look and feel like without the scabs. It feels phenomenal.

So now, moving on to 24:

It's been a while since I've seen my father as he's been working in Sabah. He came back recently for a few days, and since I was rehearsing my musical I didn't get a chance to spend as much time with him as much as I would have wanted to. But he did get to squeeze in a long talk with me about where I'm going with my career. He told me if I were to ever to take my acting seriously, then I should start now. He suggested that I approach Mediacorp in Singapore, a company that employs their actors on a full-time basis. He doesn't want me to struggle in Malaysia, where the range of opportunities as a Chinese talent isn't as broad as compared to across the causeway. The next day I acted on it, and managed to get in touch with an agent from Mediacorp, who would have very much liked to have presented my profile to his management... had I only been fluent in Mandarin. I've spoken to some more experienced peers about it and they've chipped in their two cents' worth about the local industry and how different it is abroad. In their general opinion, there's no such thing as a greener side, just a matter of preferences in career direction.

Just a month ago, I was passively mapping out what I wanted to do in the near future. As in, carry on with my fulltime job, perhaps save enough to move out and get a place of my own, at the same time engage in more performing arts in my spare time. Now I've been thrown completely off my guard because THE other option has suddenly surfaced, the one which I had never in my wildest dreams would have been able to take seriously for fear of family disapproval. For my father to finally give the thumbs up is very unreal, but I suspect it has come about from watching my work and realizing that a 10-year pursuit can no longer be considered "just a phase she'll grow out of".

My marketability is going to drop once I hit my quarter-life mark - physical maturity directly affects the scope of roles that an actor is able to pull off convincingly and therefore be offered - and it didn't occur to me how close I was to it until my father drove the point in.

It's a huge leap to take: after all, being established is one thing, and being in demand is another. But I can't afford to "wait for a good time" anymore. Tony was right: there's no such thing. For the first time in my life, I feel the need to set goals for myself - where to go, who to approach, how much to save, what skills to pick up. There's a lot of restructuring that needs to be done, and I'm still a little befuddled as to where to start...

I've received a mindblowing birthday present in the form of a green light, and I've got 364 days left to get my crap together.

Time to get the ball rollin'.


Blogger cyber-red said...

believe in it and the rest will follow suit =)

baby, the world's your oyster!

6:48 PM  
Blogger saintvamp said...

Sorry about the gold convertible, can't afford it, maybe when I'm already a member in Billionare Boys Club...hahaha I wish. Happy Belated Bithday and hopefully the thought counts =P.

Mandarin language nowadays is a good commodity. To some I may look like a chinese guy so dad insist I learn mandarin. Still I prefer to learn japanese as I am so in lurrve with the culture.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Inaesb said...

'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away' - anon

Go get it!! :)

Happy (Belated?)Birthday too. Hehe.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best of luck. You'll be fine. Just keep your eyes on the craft constantly and none of the baggage that comes with it.

Glad I got to work with you once before your career takes off from when I will never be able to afford you of fit into what I bet will be a packed schedule once you're professionally doing it.

Arivind Abraham

5:11 PM  
Blogger thisguysplace said...

you'll do great. good luck!

12:53 AM  
Blogger Glaring Notebook said...

Happy belated birthday!

Amen to that December thing. Cursed even more are those who are 6 days short of Christmas and thus get one present instead of two.

2:56 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

Womans. It appears that our fates may remain intertwined a little longer. I've been pondering the very same matter myself, exploring going down South. So 2 things:

1. Wanna learn Mandarin together?

2. I'm planning a trip down in some coming month to go and blitz their agencies with my face. Wanna join?

1:19 PM  
Blogger commonjack said...

Read or rather sing whats stated below in the tune of Queen's "We Are the Champions":

"I ... will support you ... my friend ...

And I ... will always be there ... till the end ...

You are a star ... You are a star ... No time for losers cause you are a star ... "

haha. sorry - it doesn't rhyme very well. but you get the gist of it.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous az said...

You can do it! =)

Happy belated birthday from us in Boston!


9:08 PM  
Blogger disco-very said...

i like oysters. thanks babe.

not considering practicalities, i also would love to learn japanese. don't worry, i still have a good 50-odd birthdays ahead of me, so do take your time with the convertible. :P

love that quote, thanks.

Thanks for the tip, looking forward to working with you again soon.


glaring notebook,
better than leap year babies at least!

that would be ace. please keep me posted :)

pump your version up with a euro-trance beat and an irritating frog and it's perfect. thanks dear!

Thanks! Will be dreaming of the white christmas you'll be having.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous midnite lily said...

good on you, girl! *hugs* there's nothing like reaching for the stars on blessed wings. happy b'lated bday!

2:19 PM  

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