Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Enter The Retard, starring Bruised Knee

My knee hurts when I walk. This is why.

Sunday morning, during the Cameron Highlands trip, my mates and I were chilling by the balcony of our longhouse chalet. I seated myself on the balcony grill and faced inside, as intricately depicted in the diagram below:

My friend Vig was initially standing in front of me, whom I leaned on for support. The moment he moved away, I tried adjusting my bum on the rail and I'm not sure how it happened exactly, but I fell off (thankfully not backwards 4 metres down).

My left knee hit the wooden plank flooring of the balcony. My right leg shot through between the grill bars and the lower thigh smashed itself against the horizontal bottom bar. If it weren't for the pathetic circumstances, I could have been mistaken for practicing the elegant One-Legged King Pigeon Pose.

My left leg barely suffered, but my right leg was a goner. Fiona dribbled some tea tree oil on the bump, and I whimpered like a loser.

15 minutes later

6 hours later

12 hours later

36 hours later

The blood clot has grown to the size of my palm. My friend Vicky wants me to massage it so it will heal faster. But I'm secretly cherishing this while it lasts. It looks all speckled and colorful, like something taken from the Hubble Space Telescope. Whenever I feel gloomy, I just pull up my trouser leg and marvel at the sheer complexity of my new cosmic tattoo, and all my troubles melt away.

It deserves a name. I think I'll call it Wilfred.


Anonymous ah pink said...

*touch bruise*

Bet it still smarts, huh? Go see a tabib Cina. Believe you me, those smelly minyak urut really works!

Get well soon!

4:10 PM  
Blogger commonjack said...


this is the 1st time i've visited your blog. got it off your friendster page. and i am compelled to say that you have a brilliant blog. extremely entertaining! i like.

wonder if you're this entertaining in real life? haha.

just dropping a line...
that michael guy whose house new year party you crashed together with olivia who bumped into you again at an ad shoot a few days later.

10:48 AM  
Blogger K@MO said...

Vig is bad luck on hiking trips. And he will always try to knick your Pajeri Nenas.:)

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

alamak...u actually admire the bruise arh?! tsk tsk tsk i got no more comments edi :p

from the one that works across your street :p =)

1:14 AM  
Blogger disco-very said...

Pajeri Nenas? As long as I'm around the only part he'll be getting his hands on is the top layer of oil.

Thanks for your comments Michael! Give me some Wonka Nerds and I will be more than happy to be entertaining for you.

11:51 AM  
Blogger rei said...

Hey Davina! Found you on Friendster :D

And yeah, a bruise that big deserves a name ... not that I'm into injury, but bruises fascinate me, they're so colorful. I always poke mine.

12:27 AM  
Blogger Muddy said...

Sorry to say but that bruise looks nasty. I bet the doctors are having a field day with it.

6:00 PM  

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