Friday, March 18, 2005

Skatehoarding

I saw this skateboard at the departmental store near my house. It was disgustingly cheap. That was the only reason why I wanted to buy it, apart from the fact that it had - lop off my legs and call me Shorty - ten bloody wheels.

Whoa whoa whoa hold up there young lady, how the hell are you going to find time to try out that thing? You haven’t touched your normal skateboard in months!

Don’t listen to her, man. That is one kick@ss-holy-shite-motherf%$#-you skateboard. You’ll be the talk of the park, the suburb, the city! Of course you’ll make time to ride it!
Excuse me? You won’t ever! It’s an utter waste of money which could more constructively go to a nice winter wonderland costume for your Shi Tzu…
She must have the memory of a goldfish to forget that Pepé suffers from heat rash.
B-B-But you’re a full-time working woman - you can’t even afford to land yourself in hospital!
Aah, but remember you’ve got that personal accident insurance student package which your old college is still giving you because you still haven’t returned your student ID card? You’re covered, dude. And I bet that if you don’t buy it now, you'll end up an 80-year old fogey telling her grandkids what a saddo you were for not buying that damn 10-wheel skateboard. In short, you will officially suck. And you wouldn’t want to officially suck, would you now?

Sir, No Sir.

Parents, lock up your children – this woman’s got a new toy.

4 Comments:

Blogger ButterRoll_sama said...

whut in the world?! that's like the truck of skateboards. rofl

12:39 AM  
Blogger Albert said...

Wait, what happened to the ride I gave you? You could modify that y'know. Pimp my ride.

3:13 AM  
Blogger disco-very said...

I still have it. Know any peeps who can install those funky blue lights on the underside?

6:21 PM  
Blogger Albert said...

You could take those old bicycle reflectors for headlamps. OOOH! Oh, and you can hang NORMAL-SIZED dice on it!

Also, if you could resist the temptation to wrap yourself in duct tape, do a Van Halen. You could also use white tape so you could get high on permanent marker and forge autographs. Except mine that is, I wanna autograph it myself. :P

4:14 PM  

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